Jon Stewart
Quotes by Jon Stewart
The seven marvels that best represent man's achievements over the last 2 000 years will be determined by Internet vote... so look for Howard Stern's Private Parts to come in No. 1.
— Jon Stewart
McVeigh's lawyer got him the death penalty, which, quite frankly, I could have done.
— Jon Stewart
I'm not just a boy toy. I have feelings and dreams like anybody else.
— Jon Stewart
I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food.
— Jon Stewart
If the events of September 11 2001, have proven anything, it's that the terrorists can attack us, but they can't take away what makes us American - our freedom, our liberty, our civil rights. No, only Attorney General John Ashcroft can do that.
— Jon Stewart
Our culture is just a series of checks and balances. The whole idea that we're in a battle between tyranny and freedom - it's a series of pendulum swings.
— Jon Stewart
You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back on my career and be proud of the work, and be proud that I tried everything. Yes, I want to look back and know that I was terrible at a variety of things.
— Jon Stewart
The Supreme Court ruled that disabled golfer Casey Martin has a legal right to ride in a golf cart between shots at PGA Tour events. Man, the next thing you know, they're going to have some guy carry his clubs around for him.
— Jon Stewart
I can be in 20 movies. But I'll never be an actor.
— Jon Stewart
I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.
— Jon Stewart